it's hard to make money
by theclockuponawall
Summary: Really, Shinsuke—if you were going to spend so much money you might have considered cutting down on Yakult instead of sending this one out as a cash cow. BansaixOtsuu


**it's hard to make money**

To put it simply, the Kiheitai was broke.

Huh. Maybe that was why he was here.

If there is any one thing Kawakami Bansai can tell you it is that being apart of an extremist Joui faction set on burning down Edo isn't the most profitable career path out there. Especially when the esteemed leader of said extremist Joui faction decides that they need multiple battle ships and everything needed to mass-produce parasitic bio-weapons with a penchant for human bodies and brains.

Which is why he finds himself standing in front of one of Edo's biggest talent agencies out there.

_Really, Shinsuke—if you were going to spend so much money you might have considered cutting down on Yakult instead of sending this one out as a cash cow._

* * *

It's when he is walking down the hall to the director's office that a young girl with a shock of long purple hair bowls into him. Hm. Hasn't he seen her before?

_Oh! I didn't see where I was going I'm so sorry your grandma's socks!_

Oh. If memory serves him correctly, this is Terakado Tsuu, more famously known as the pop idol Otsuu. Wasn't she part of some scandal lately? He pauses to assess the situation.

Slouched posture. Downcast eyes. Walking out from the director's office.

It's not that hard to guess what happened.

But. Hm.

He can hear a strong crescendo from this girl. Rising with a beat found in those teenage musicals Takechi has taken to recently and her eyes, downcast as they are, have a determination to them that one would not expect from a former idol chewed out by her boss.

Hm.

_If this one may ask, are you by any chance in need of a producer?_

* * *

Otsuu-dono, as it turns out, has immense potential. There is not much he has to do save sign a few contracts, advise her on publicity matters, and write a few songs. By the end of the first week her concerts are starting to fill with more than her (in his humble opinion) extremist fanclub (on that note her fanclub seems to be growing again too). By the end of the first month she is already rising back to her former position in the idol world. By the end of the third month, Matako gets curious.

_Bansai-senpai, what've you been up to lately? I haven't seen you around at all and that idiot Nizou has been acting off on his own lately._

Huh. Has he spent that much time away producing Otsuu-dono? Certainly there have been some publicity stunts he had to deal with for a while and some negotiations with various sponsors he had to be present for but his focus was on the Kiheitai was it not? Of course he could lessen the time he spent with the girl writing songs by just sending her the melody and going through her lyrics separately but they were making _music_.

While he will admit to himself that time spent with her is fun and interesting (he finds her crude suffixes and actually-rather-sadistic personality rather endearing) he refuses to think that he might look forward to spending time with the purple haired pop idol.

_Matako-san. Bansai-dono's work with the lovely Otsuu-dono is integral to our operations: a great deal of our money comes from their work you see. On that note, Bansai-dono, I have here some lyrics I believe will be of great success to you. I believe the masses will find a song about reforming the children of Edo to be rivetin-_

_Takechi-hentai! Stop messing around you lolicon!_

_I am not a lolicon. I am a feminist-_

That's right. He must spend time with Otsuu-dono to push her success as far as they possibly can. She is, after all, an integral part of their operations. Even if she doesn't know it.

* * *

_-and so I'm going to be the leader of the Shinsengumi to help them clean up their image for a day! This is all thanks to you Tsunpo-san!_

Bansai does not feel anything about this of course. This is just another publicity stunt to maintain Otsuu-dono's position as the top idol; it would be a shame to lose that spot so soon.

And when a tiny voice whispers in his head about a Jouishishi faction currently targeting the Shinsengumi by kidnapping women lately—

Speaking which shouldn't he do some reconnaissance on the Shinsengumi? If they are to succeed with their takeover of Edo information about the strongest police force will be pivotal in their plans.

And if that tiny voice in his head is saying anything about making sure nothing happens to Otsuu-dono it is nothing more and nothing less than keeping up a steady income for the Kiheitai.

* * *

When Bansai gets the call from Otsuu-dono, the pride and relief he feels is _not_ borne of personal anxiety and worry, it's simply the pride of producing such a persevering idol and the relief of not having to deal with the Shinsengumi just yet (Shinsuke has plans and Shinsuke likes his plans).

Fine. Maybe he was a little bit worried over Otsuu-dono's safety. But it's simply because he doesn't want to deal with having to scout another talent and deal with having to build up income for the Kiheitai. _Again_.

Really.

* * *

**AN: Obnoxious italics instead of quotes I am so sorry.**

**Except I'm really not lol. So yay first Gintama fic except urghs this is so bad like how do you fic just how /cries. I SHIP BANSAI AND OTSUU SO MUCH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS LIKE WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE SHIP THEM THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER LIKE PERSONAL HEADCANON THAT OTSUU IS ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE WHO USE POLITE LANGUAGE I MEAN LOOKIT GOEMON and uhm yeahhh. As for the sad word vomit up there I'm sorry I tried I JUST WANTED A BANSAIXOTSUU FIC OKAY if you ship these two then I hope you're properly nauseated and write a good fic of them to remedy this and even if you don't SOMEBODY PLEASE WRITE ABOUT THEM.**

**uhm. hi. yeah. bye.**

**HINAGIOUT.**


End file.
